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#46 - At Least I Smell Good

I am now 46 years old.  It seems like every year I have to comment on how much I like or dislike my new age.  I’m not so crazy about the number 46, even though it’s an even number. I think “45” sounded better.  Even “47” seems a little more appealing than “46.”  48 and 49 do not really excite me, either, because those numbers seem especially middle aged.  50 actually sounds kind of good, too.  I know – I’m slightly “off.” 

My birthday was fine.  It was on a Saturday this year.  Arien had a lingerie shower that afternoon at Janie’s, her sister-in-law’s.  So I went to that and had a nice time.  That evening we all went out to eat and then came back to the house to celebrate…with the cake I made.  Someday, maybe I won’t have to make my own cakes anymore!  That just seems wrong.  Maybe it’s because I never had to make them when Paul was alive.  I don’t know.  Anyway, it was a good day.  I think people like me, if I can judge by the amount of cards I receive on my birthday.  Even the next day at church all kinds of people were telling me, “Happy birthday, Sarah!”  How do they know it’s my birthday?  Church calendar, I suppose…My favorite card came from Lizzie in which she listed out “46 Things I Like About You.” 

# 7 You are generous
#11 You are conpshanot
#12 You are a good typer
#13 You have lovly hand righting
#18 You are probly very beataful on the inside
#19 You don’t look old
#23 We live in a clean house
#25 You are a princess in my eyes
#30 You always have a good reason
#31 You always smell good
#35 You give me and Ellie preaty hair styles
#36 You are brave.  You are smart.
#38 You are like superwoman

Some of these make me laugh and some just make me smile.  But #46 about made me cry
#46 The thing I like most is you are my  mom

How I love this girl!

Yesterday Sam told me that he has decided to be like Anne Frank and start his own diary.  Jokingly I told him that was good because then if something tragic happens to him, we’ll always have his diary to remember him, just like Anne.  “Well,” said Sam, “We’d better hope that nothing tragic happens for awhile because I just started writing today!” 

Last night the kids’ Patch choir performed.  Normally on Sunday nights we tend to dress down but I have the kids wear their Sunday morning clothes on Patch nights since they are up on stage.  Sam really got into preparing last night.  He tucked his dress shirt in, buttoned up his vest, and slicked his hair off to the side, spraying it down with hairspray.  I wasn’t surprised when he asked if I could take his picture.  To my surprise, he then turned to the girls and said, ‘I want you in the picture with me.”  Lizzie already had her fleece jacket zipped up over her dress and Sam began gently taking it off her.  Something about the sweetness of that gesture touched me.  Then, he lined everyone up and they posed for pictures in my messy kitchen.  Before he went to bed Sam asked if he could wear the same clothes to school today.  I told him that was fine, although I suggested switching out the dress pants for jeans.  He even wanted to wear his dress shoes.  So that’s exactly what he did today.  I hope nobody made fun of him.  I remember Dorothy telling me that sometimes when Paul was in school (both his public school and Christian school years) he would always want to dress up, too.  I should share that with Sam.

David said a couple of weeks ago he was playing Aggravation with the Littles when I was gone.  He said Ellie just could NOT get out of base so he jokingly suggested she might pray over her dice.  To his surprise, she immediately bowed her head and asked Jesus to give her a one or six.  And wouldn’t you know it – her very next roll was a 6!  He said she was super-excited – I bet!

I think I’ve mentioned before how I often watch  one of the retro channels before going to bed at night.  I’ve seen lots of older shows I enjoy – Family Ties, Three’s Company, Good Times, One Day at a Time,  Doogie Houser,   Wings, etc.  On Friday nights they’ve started airing Maude.  I’m not super familiar with the show.  I think I even have yet to watch an entire episode.  I’m not going to, either.  I have been really turned off by Bea Arthur’s character’s condensation to her husband, Walter.  She is SO superior and condescending to that man.  This was the 1970s so I suppose Maude was written for all the ERA-loving, divorce-seeking women of that generation who were coming off growing up with shows like The Donna Reed Show, Leave it to Beaver, etc.  But, yuck!  What really sickened me was a scene I saw the other night where Maude has discovered she’s pregnant.  That means she must have been in her 40s, although she looks so old in the show!  She has a 27 year old daughter who is living at home after a divorce. So, if she’d given birth at 18, she would be 45 – I guess that work.  Anyway, Maude is very upset about the pregnancy and her daughter is advising her mother to just get an abortion.  She tells her mom that it’s “her body” and she doesn’t have to anything she doesn’t want to.  It just sickened me.  I couldn’t watch any more.  If this is what women were taking in in the 1970s and then teaching their own daughters – no wonder we’re so messed up a generation and a half later!

I have had two massages now – one specifically for pain and the other one was what they call a “Swedish” massage – one hour of niceness, I called it.  Although, the next day my neck was sure sore – she must have hit some tender muscles up there.  I’m still having pain every day.  But it’s not to the point that I’m living on Advil or anything like that – maybe 2 – 3 on really rough days, which isn’t bad.  Last Saturday was a rough day.  But then Sunday was a good day.  Today my left shoulder and side of my neck is pretty tender but my left leg isn’t as numb and painful as it usually is.  You get used to things.  Anyway, I never wrote about how I found this massage place.  I had mentioned 5 or 6 weeks ago that I had begun to pray one day about the pain and then the very next day an overseas friend mentioned that her shoulders were feeling better after a massage.  That was kind of a lightbulb moment for me.  I had never thought of massage before, but I had no idea how to go about finding a massage therapist.  I mentioned that on my blog.  One of my “go-to” friends (she has all kinds of solutions!) messaged me that day telling me this was really random, but she had read my post and then one of her FB friends had happened to mention that this massage place in Urbandale was really helping him.  So I checked them out on-line and found all sorts of good reviews (not just on their site, either!).  I really like them.  They are all women, they’re not exhorbitantly priced, and I am moving better as a result. 

Actually, I am suspicious that I may know at least  some of the source of this chronic pain now.  In December I was put on 2 rounds of Levofluxin for that terrible sinus stuff that I had for a good 6 weeks and couldn’t shake.  It was 2 different doctors that prescribed it and both asked me if I was a runner.  When I said I wasn’t they said well, that was good, because sometimes this drug could cause tendons to rupture.  But since I didn’t run, I would be safe.  This blog post began making the rounds on FB one day last week and it made my blood run cold: Story   There’s nothing I can do about it now and there’s no proof that my symptoms are a result of taking the Levofluxin.  But the timing seems to line up.  Anyway, I won’t be taking it again.  But, I am suspicious that I may never be completely pain-free again.

I spent last Friday in Omaha with Kathy at the spring craft show.  It was one of our best times yet! I am blessed to have a friend like her.  She told me her youngest sister and family, including 2 toddlers, are now in Nepal doing missions work and are thinking about making it a permanent move.  She’s worried.  Raw sewage floats on the street.  Violence is a regular occurrence.  I reminded her that what we do for Christ on this  earth is all that really matters.  All this other stuff…is just stuff.  And besides, the safest place to be is the center of of God’s will.  But – that’s easy to say when it’s not my sister or my nephews that may be in harm’s way or only seen in person every few years.

  I ended up buying this metal flower (aobut 5 feet tall) with the stem made out of rebar – red, among a few other things.   It gave me the inspiration to start decorating my rock beds that I made last summer.  So I think I’m going to look for other things to put out there.  All this stuff that will have to be gotten rid of when they move me into a nursing home someday…or it will be the stuff that people find 10 miles away when a tornado wipes us out someday. It's just stuff.  It doesn't matter.  But it does make me smile in the meantime.
The days are busying up again.  Like they ever quit!  It seems like every day I have more and more stuff to put on my calendar.  David has Prom Alternative next weekend already.  That completely sped by me.  Normally, we are planning the boys’ outfits by January!  So, we got that taken care of this weekend.  All he wanted was a new tie, anyway.

One of my FB friends posted something unique the other night that really made me think.  Actually, this is the lady that was the speaker at the Single Parent Provision dinner last Dec – the widow with 6 kids.  She said something to the effect about how crazy we are about our own children.  We would do anything to ensure their happiness and success in life.  God feels that way about us, as His children.  I had never put that together in my mind before.  I know God loves me, but He’s as nuts about me as I am my kids?  I mean, I would sacrifice anything for them. I’m willing to inflict pain on them if it’s for their good and growth. I'd wear shoes with holes in them so they could have a new pair.  I'll give them the last cupcake.   I would even die for them if need be.  I suppose God did do that, didn’t He?

That’s really  kind of a neat thought. 

Well, I need to keep moving.  I always have to do that – keep moving.  I am taking out corn rows and twists tonight.  Will will be here soon.  He’s helping me with math and I am helping him with a report on Christianity as seen in Uncle Tom’s Cabin.  That’s kind of an interesting report topic for a secular college class!  He didn’t choose it, the professor did.

PS: I changed the blog template.  I should know better than to do this right before bed.  I'm not sure if I'll keep it.  I was just ready for something new - actually it had not occurred to me that I was ready for something new until Blogger told me, "Hey - come look at our brand new templates!"  I always end up frustrating myself when I try something new on here...


  1. Sarah, I always love reading your blog posts. How you find time amazes me! I have a hard time keeping up with my blog and I don't have so much on my plate. I love the truth about how much God loves us. It is true that I would gladly die for my children. And I know God uses the kids to help me strip away my own selfishness as I balance their many needs with my own wants (and needs.)


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